Comment by fortysixdegrees
2 years ago
A message to those diagnosed or not with ADHD. It's also ok to be yourself, and not try to 'fix' yourself.
Shit at some aspects of life? All good. Good at some things? Great.
Not saying treatment is bad, just that being yourself, with all its costs and benefits, is a completely legitimate option.
Medicate always as a last resort
To OP and the rest of the folks in this thread: firstly, thanks for opening this convo. It's quite complicated in that each person who is neurodiverse (ADHD or other condition) is wholly different from the next, in symptoms / personality / severity / how much it impacts your life, the list goes on.
Along that vein, there is a level of acceptance (at least for me) that I will always be different. The decision of what I want to change (just like any neurotypical person decides to embark on a 'personal growth' journey) is also each individuals to take. Of course, the flip side here is that the societal pressure etc., obviously makes it not that simple (holding down jobs, etc.).
Another distinction for those new to ADHD is that by definition, your life needs to be significantly impacted (at home, school/work, etc.) in multiple domains for a diagnosis.
In terms of medication, right now for ADHD it's the most scientifically proven way (70-80% of people with ADHD see benefits) to manage ADHD symptoms but can also have some side effects. Because of this and many other reasons, some folks prefer to engage in behavioral change solutions not necessarily to 'fix' themselves only, but potentially just to reach certain goals they have. This may be used together with medication/therapy or on its own.
> It's also ok to be yourself, and not try to 'fix' yourself.
Society is very clear that it is not okay with this. If I'm "just myself" then I wouldn't be able to hold down a job and survive.
> Medicate always as a last resort
We shouldn't be so hesitant to medicate. It can be extremely useful, especially in combination with other management techniques. This stigma against medication hurts people.
> If I’m “just myself” then I wouldn’t be able to hold down a job and survive.
this is the thing i don’t get: for someone who’s by nature not accustomed to doing things in the prescribed way, how can they be expected to resolve that via the prescribed way?
i.e. i have to meddle through insurance, appointments, specialists that cost $$ for an assessment which _might_ lead to something useful or might just tell me things i’ve already learned via other means while waiting 2 months in line (actual ADHD specialists are in high demand) and then follow through with monthly checkups and such. if part of my issue is “i just can’t do things that way”, how can the expected solution require me to overcome that before getting treatment? it’s circular; it’s a contradiction.
> We shouldn't be so hesitant to medicate. It can be extremely useful, especially in combination with other management techniques. This stigma against medication hurts people.
i have a lot of friends for whom others would label non neurotypical. i’d never use that word myself, because i’m in such a bubble that i literally don’t know what the word is supposed to mean. but they point out my habits enough that it’s clear “you should see about a diagnosis”.
of course i haven’t, for reasons you can infer from the earlier paragraph. but these friends did turn me onto some QoL improvements like alarms, journaling systems, etc, and i also found that some meds help. it’s better, but now i’m stuck in a situation where i ration meds because the only way to get them through a system i understand involves paying 10x what i’d pay if i could jump through hoops for the professional medical system.
someday i’ll get around to actual diagnosis, but, well, i’m very good at finding excuses not to. it would be nice if i could be allowed to pursue these things in my own way instead of people using the law to block off as many alternatives as they can. allow me options, let the knowledge be easy to find, and sure promote awareness so that i can understand sooner that and how my mental experiences differ from what is normal or healthy. and then let me try these different options and figure out what works best for me. why can’t i have this?
Alternatively, don't define who you are by your mental illnesses. People are not built equally, and some things can be considered objectively broken.
Shit at some aspects of life that are easily treatable? Treat them.
ADHD remains one of the most easily medically treatable diseases. Do not listen to people propagating the stigma that you should just accept a substandard life. For most people with ADHD, medical treatment works very well and massively improves quality of life. Medical treatment does not have to be a last resort.
Clearly you are not aware how debilitating ADHD can be at times, even with proper and continuous care/treatment.
This is a hereditary neurodevelopmental disorder, not just a feeling anyone can pick up tomorrow and be cured of again in a couple of weeks if they just put in the work and keep smiling.
No. Medicate when you think it will help you at a cost-benefit trade off you’re happy with. Same with a coaching service like this, or regular therapy, or other treatment. You aren’t going to stay the same person throughout life, no matter what.