Great HN parody

13 years ago (linkedlistnyc.org)

It's missing the "Why I'm leaving HN (This time for good)"

and "A front page HN story about how being on the front page of HN changed my business"

and "A rambling article about how voting is broken on HN"

and "How I lived out of a shoebox and traveled the world on a bicycle while creating my startup"

Anybody interested in more, I refer you to my javascript parody of two years ago, "Roll Your Own Linkbait Tech Headline": http://www.whattofix.com/blog/archives/2011/01/roll-your-own...

  •   30. A Legitimately Interesting Technical Blog Post
    

    Should probably be marked 'unflag', too...

  • Don't forget "10% of a UNIX manpage typed out in hipster compatible phraseology and intimated like it's forbidden knowledge."

  • You are missing the "How I lived out of a shoebox and traveled the world on a bicycle while creating my startup that teaches people how to live out of a shoebox and traveled the world on a bicycle while..."

  • It also needs "Apologist piece on why copyright infringement is good (torrentfreak.com)" with "94 polarized comments".

    • Polarized comments? Usually it's all the apologists and me in there. I didn't know there was anyone else who wasn't an apologist for copyright infringement. Nice to meet you

  • "A long personal essay with a moving anecdote on why surviving cancer is more important than building a startup"

    "Why you should always validate your first $100M in sales with a mockup, before writing a single line of code"

    "How we can implement Ayn Rand's ideas on success to solve world hunger with crowdsourced electronics"

    "What is success, anyway?"

  • "HN is great but the design is terrible! So here is my innovative version(filled with just eye candies)"

    "How I learn to program in 30 minutes and bootstrapped my first startup"

    "Show HN: My new social network that will change the world", from the author of the previous article

    • Later that day: "That social network from earlier today has a gaping security hole (uses default Rails scaffolding)"

  • Every online community needs a good flounce every now and again. Extra points for the 'I just wanted to see if you all loved me really' reverse flounce shortly afterwards!

  • And it's missing a post pointing out things missing on another post about things missing out on another post about...umm...uhhh

Some of them have been thought out - "how I mapped caps lock" by yakshaver, "derailed by a pedantic comment" by wellactually(I suffer from this; working on it), "apple's downfall" by armchairceo; the comment puns(stylish, worn-out, nebolous) are pretty meh.

Despite this being a parody, I would still like to point out "a labor of love you can say mean things about". I have seen it happen here way too often. Someone posts something and the crowd goes wild - "this is a feature not a product", "as a designer I can tell you you suck", "another cool aid drinkers pretending node.js is cool" etc. Someone posts a "Show HN" doesn't mean you get the right to walk all over it. And the worse part is, you pretend you were doing him a favor - "I was only giving feedback which the poster asked for". The poster asked for feedback, not for insults. It doesn't matter if you are a programming god(most of the people doing it aren't, but still) - there is a difference between feedback and "look at this pathetic shit thinking he is worth anything".

I am sure I am not the only one who thinks people go overboard with their so-called feedback. pg especially made a post about the flood of launches coming in and being nice to them.

Please be nice to them. For you their launch may be "yet another YC startup," but for each individual startup this is their big moment.

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2862067

  • > Someone posts a "Show HN" doesn't mean you get the right to walk all over it.

    the right definitely exists and should be cherished. I agree that being nice is a nice goal but I also love unfiltered honest feedback like you can easily get from this community.

    • > the right definitely exists

      What right? If you are talking about free speech, that isn't applicable here. Owners of site can allow or disallow expressions on their discretion.

      When I said right, I meant the typical defense - "They posted it here. They asked for it.". I am saying just because someone posts a "Show HN" doesn't imply you can be a jerk and hide behind "but they wanted feedback".

      > unfiltered honest

      The problem with "unfiltered and honest" is it doesn't have a agreed-on definition.

      You must be blind to not notice the crime against humanity that "white on yellow" text is.

      The white on yellow text is unreadable.

      To some people, 1 might look honest and unfiltered; to me it looks like some asshole trying to be tough guy on the web.

      2 isn't filtering anything and is honest. "Not being an asshole" and "being honest and straight forward" aren't mutually exclusive.

      3 replies →

    • Honesty and respect are not mutually exclusive.

      You can give great, thoughtful feedback that accurately describes your feelings without being unprofessional or disrespectful.

      3 replies →

  • I've noticed a drop in meanness since it was brought to the attention of the community. It still happens, but many people appear to be making a conscious effort to avoid it in their comments and combat it editorially in the comments of others.

  • The thing of it is, I'm of two minds on this: yes, it seems that HN (and the Internet in general) can be overly harsh, especially considering that many of the harshest critics will probably never do anything substantialy close to a lot of what gets submitted. OTOH, it's sort of like boot camp: if someone can't handle mean things said about their idea, then they probably won't survive the slings and arrows of the market (and yes, I know not all of the "Show HNs" are business related). Also, many people, when they see something that seems obvious, already done, or simply wrong, tend to have a bad reaction (see http://xkcd.com/386/). Still, criticisms could be phrased better; OTOH again, but many of the originators of "Show HNs" that seemed like the most likely to suceed were the ones who show up, acknowledge valid criticism, and fix faults with their projects. Some of the best even thank polite critics for input.

  • Some comments are mean because the poster is a jerk. But some of the most valuable comments you will get are angry diatribes from people who probably saw potential in your idea but were disappointed for some reason. These are well worth tuning into. The worst type of comment is the one that wasn't made because no one gave a damn one way or the other.

    • > These are well worth tuning into.

      If I do a "Show HN", I will read each and every comment and think about it. But that's not the point of contention here. The point is you can be honest, unfiltered, upset and can still not be an asshole.

      2 replies →

  • > Someone posts a "Show HN" doesn't mean you get the right to walk all over it

    I didn't realize that signing up to HN entitled me to negativity free advertising for my pet project.

    Wouldn't you expect people posting Show HN posts to know what happens in the comment threads of all of them?

    I agree that the community should try to discourage plain insults, but I want to see well reasoned thoughts and critiques of other projects from the community. If that critique is harsh then it's harsh. Welcome to going public with your idea. I agree with you about the insults, but you are also drifting towards encouraging protecting egos that are tied to their product. That's not a helpful community norm. Be supportive of people working hard and ruthlessly honest about their ideas and products.

    Also, we're coming up on a decade of digg/reddit/HN style social news sites. Is it time to stop being surprised that the behaviour that this medium incentivises is the behaviour we keep seeing?

    • > Wouldn't you expect people posting Show HN posts to know what happens in the comment threads of all of them?

      It happens all the time and posters are well aware of the behavior. Neither of these mean it's desirable to put down everyone who does a "Show HN". If anything, it happens all the time is the reason behind the concern.

      > I want to see well reasoned thoughts and critiques of other projects from the community.

      > Be supportive of people working hard and ruthlessly honest about their ideas and products.

      I am not advocating heaps of praise for anyone who does a "Show HN". Honesty and not being an asshole aren't mutually exclusive.

      > Is it time to stop being surprised that the behaviour that this medium incentivises is the behaviour we keep seeing?

      I am not too sure if HN incentivises being a jerk to "Show HN" or posts in general. But if it does, it should stop. Just because it happens doesn't make it desirable.

      1 reply →

My favourite HN piece ever: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/216352/guys_youre_not_helping.png

So, guys, should I or should I not learn to code? :D.

My favourite: "How I remapped my capslock key to be both ESC and Ctrl" -- maybe should have had VI in there too ;)

If a community can't laugh at itself, then it's surely doomed :D

So, you've seen the hand-curated fake HN. Now see the randomly-generated fake HN I did for a laugh a couple of months ago.

http://rachelbythebay.com/fun/hrand/

Some of the examples look curiously close to actual news, but they're all random. Really.

  • "I bootstrapped my bitcoins while married".

    That's just gold.

    • "Facebook buys marriage in space", "Tim Cook wants jQuery on the freeway"... I cannot stop laughing!

      Sorry HN, but I think I'm addicted to that other site now. goes there and keeps hitting f5

Brilliant, though it seemed to me to have one glaring omission:

    I'm Quitting [Popular Nonessential Service] for 1 Month

followed by:

    What I Learned from Quitting [Popular Nonessential Service] for 1 Month

"A Story About Sexism in Tech Filled With Sexist Comments Denying Sexism in Tech" :-)

  • It's like any time Anita Sarkeesian is mentioned on reddit, and people take 7000 rageful comments to convince themselves a problem does not exist.

    • People (reddit and elsewhere, internet and elsewhere) have a crippling mental condition where if they haven't experienced a problem on a personal level, it must not exist. It's a glaring logical problem that should be as obvious as the word "NO" on a 500 foot tall, illuminated billboard.

      Yet it keeps happening.

      2 replies →

They should update the list so that when this gets posted for the third time in 2013, the top item is: "Great HN parody (2012) (linkedlistnyc.org)"

"How I remapped my capslock key to be both ESC and Ctrl"

That really got me thinking. Then I realized I was reading a parody. I am still thinking.

  • If computer keyboards were velocity sensitive like music keyboards, maybe you could do it through discriminating touch velocity (force). I imagine it could be tricky to get used to though! Idea, maybe key down duration could be used as proxy for velocity, as in, more forceful key press last less?

    • someone has to make this happen. imagine - no need for shift/caps_lock keys - just BASH HARDER your fingers to get uppercase.

    • I was thinking something simpler. Holding down caps lock produces the same effect as holding down either esc or ctrl, but after you release it the mode for the next time toggles to the other.

I love HN but this made me laugh :P, nailed it pretty much. I would just add "Why X sucks because now I'm learning a trendy hipster new Y that no one knows of"

It's missing a post like: "Tech Founder that Graduated from Stanford Says College Dead, Long Live Blog Learning"

"I learnt Haskell and just had to write about it"

"Surely I can spin this Tweet into an article"

"Why latest Apple product is the best thing you have ever seen" - Marco, Gruber or MG

You forgot to add woman-centric posts, like "How I hacked my daughter's brain into learning Python," or "How I taught 3 girls between the ages of 13 and 55 to love Linux command line."

But this is pretty funny. No MS hate?

  • The MS hate comes in waves, just like everything else on HN! This is why HN can become especially addictive to me when the topic du jour appeals to my interests.

    I guess I should write a blog about this, but first I need to get a blog. Perhaps I could blog about getting a blog so I can blog an analysis of how HN's topics are both cyclical and wave-like. Both, of course posted to HN at optimal hours for maximum effect!

"My 5000 word assessment of (insert latest gadget here) that leaves no doubt about why absolutely (no-one|everyone) should buy this, conveniently ignoring that other geeks have their own opinion and the average user doesn't give a damn"

"10 mistakes that I made during my unsuccessful YC interview, 9 of which PG probably didn't even notice"

"Show HN: My first (read: I'm younger than you) app I hacked up in less than 20 mins (read: I'm smarter than you), because I had nothing else to do (read: don't feel too cozy in your job, cuz I'm dropping out of college any day [if my parents agree, that is])"

"How I made big bucks with something so trivial that I'm surprised my cleaning lady did not think of it before me"

"Apple is no longer as innovative as they were 5 minutes ago"

Plenty of discussions that mix a lot of fancy Latin expressions and Scotsmen

Recruiter: a derogatory term for somebody that knows less about a specific field than than the experts in that field they hire

Fanboy: favoriteGadget.brand != other.favoriteGadget.brand

Fanboy of a Recruiter: greatest insult on HN

I laughed at "How I bootstrapped my company in 6 hours (with breaks)" :) I always wondered why this was a thing on HN, it doesn't matter if something took one weekend, one month or one year to finish - it's the result that matters, and saying "I build it in 24h" is the same as saying "it has a lot of bugs, but I want to launch it anyway".

...and somebody would complain why this thing is in the front page, and other person questioning why HN becoming like Reddit, and someone will downvote the comment.

..but then some other guy would defend it by saying "but it is hacker-y, etc"

I was a little disappointed some of them didn't link to actual articles.

How i WISH we could rid ourselves of the 'Contrarian blog post to recently popular blog post' cancer. It's a phenomenon i can't say i even see anywhere else online.

Sudden realization that HN or Zerohedge or /r/programming/ are just a mass-media?)) This is a premature enlightenment.)

The next level is a realization that it isn't any different form /b/ - just a flow of a community-generated content about some buzzwords.))

Well, we must admit that a distribution of our interests is a little bit broader, but it is a substitution-based activity nevertheless.)

  • I know HN is full of LISP hackers, but there's no need to add random closing brackets, surely?

    • For some reason, using closing parens instead of proper smileys with colons caught on in Russia and some Eastern Europe countries (never seen one from anyone living in Western Europe).

      Not to offend dschiptsov, but (ab)using them is an awful habit to have.

      5 replies →

I loved the genuinely parodic headlines ("How I remapped my caps lock key to be both ESC and Ctrl" was my favourite), but the metaheadlines like "A long rant about a YC company falling short in some regard" are simply done to death and IMO have not been funny in years.

"RMS hates something."

"Woz disagrees with something Apple does."

"Why this wildly successful and profitable company is doomed. Someday."

"Commonly-used technology is obsolete."

"You are not cool enough to succeed, especially if you are in any way successful. Please develop impostor syndrome."

It's this sort of thing that originally drove me away from /r/programming and which I continue to find hilarious about HN (and to found a parodic subreddit, see if you can find it).

There should be one on there talking about not talking about karma. I think I saw a "how I got so much karma on HN" story peak at #4 earlier this week.

It's probably best to wear alternate pairs of shoes, so that they get a chance to dry out and air between outings.

No.22

That's the one that got me. Now pardon me while I write a post about duplicating comic timing graphically, as a constraint.

It's missing "How I solved the travelling salesman problem using pure CSS and Clojure on my coffee break"

Nothing about Ruby and scaling? :O

  • Everyone knows Ruby doesn't scale! ;)

    • Yeah, but apparently you can use Go for the backend and scale up to 2 Billion users

      (And someone will use this fact as a reason to not use Go. Of course their website will melt after a couple of minutes on the front page of HN because they forgot to do any basic load testing on their servers and didn't catch something very simple)

Congratulations on your neat website. I think you really should consider making you're page center aligned - i hurt my head looking left in my bigass screen. I am very much a fan of wearing the same shoe every 3 days, but i admit youre article about sexism has changed my life. Unfortunately, since you don't support openID, i refuse to join your site.

To complete the picture, i would really like to respond here with a very long-form comment of at least 8 paragraphs, in which i address one by one a number of points that irritated me in a boastful way that makes my arguments sound authoritative and deep, while in reality it's just my brain-fart of the moment. I should also add a couple of references in square brackets, because that's what scientists do[1] and people seem to believe scientists (what's more, the most respected scientific journals use the vancouver reference style, which makes me look even more knowledgable). Because of the outrageousness of my long-form comment (and because it takes up a large portion of the screen real estate), people will upvote me and respond with equally half-cooked comments , some of them applying Godwin's law, and others merely acknowledging this application of the law.

Unfortunately, i barely made it to 3 paragraphs and i 've more or less run out of stupid things to say.

Looking forward to the new version of your website that will be implemented in a single var javascript statement, because that's my favorite programming paradigm this afternoon.

[1] they really do